Maigu Mountain was a mess. There was a network of hundreds of caves inside, extending in all directions, but the massive earthquakes had nearly collapsed them, and the tunnel network had been blocked by fallen rocks.
Shen Qingqiu navigated through it with some difficulty.
Suddenly, the faint glow of magic began shining through a pile of debris.
Shen Qingqiu called subconsciously: "Luo Binghe?"
Please don't have him been crushed underneath the rubble by Yue Qingyuan.
He hopped over and lifted the top rocks. Light green[1] scales were exposed. As the green scales shifted, debris both large and small was displaced.
The coils of Zhu Zhilang had acted as a protective fortress.
Tianlang jun was lying in the middle, protected from the dripping water. His body was much more rotted, and his head could have fall off.
He looked at Shen Qingqiu and, blinking, called out, "Peak lord Shen."
Shen Qingqiu said: "How are you two doing?"
Tianlang jun: "I’m used to this. Zhu Zhilang, though, not doing too good."
Zhu Zhilang really wasn’t looking that good.
His scales, normally so bright, were scattered, but he still seemed to have some spirit in him. A lot of green scales had fallen off his body, and here and there patches of red shown on his skin. His wounds were rather severe.
Shen Qingqiu helped push away the stone crushing his tail and discovered that Zheng yang was still impaled in him. He reached out and grabbed the hilt, pulling it out. Blood loss causing injuries generally did little to to demons, but with the powerful Zheng yang sword stabbed into him, the damage was exacerbated.
Tian Langjun said: "Peak lord Shen, you really don’t like paying much attention[2] to him."
Shen Qingqiu said: "Who says I’m ignoring him! Sometimes it’s just difficult to communicate. He... how is he doing?"
Tian Langjun touched Zhu Zhilang’s head with his ruined arm absentmindedly. Without answering, he asked: “For the next problem, Peak Lord Shen, what’s your plan?”
Shen Qingqiu said: "Of course my plan is to destroy the sword."
Tian Langun replied: "Xin Mo has merged with Luo Binghe’s soul. It shares it’s life with his. If you intend to destroy the sword, wouldn’t that mean killing him?"
Shen Qingqiu interrupted decisively: "Then we need to think of another plan."
Tian Langjun replied: "Even if it’s too late to prevent the merging of the two worlds?"
Shen Qingqiu inhaled and replied irritably: "...If we’re too late, we’re too late! We’ll try our best now and talk about all of that later.”
Tian Langjun finally smiled again.
He said: "Peak Lord Shen, you’re a rather strange person. In your own words, you’ve got a heart both full and empty of affection[3]. I’ve seen it with Zhu Zhilang, and especially with my son."
He sighed, and with emotion, said: "Sure enough, hating people is impossible."
The truth, however strange, was no stranger than this old man. Shen Qingqiu was sick of talking to him: "Luo Binghe? Have you seen him?"
Tian Langjun, oddly enough, said: "I thought Peak Lord Shen knew. Hasn’t he been following you this whole time?"
Shen Qingqiu blinked. The hair on his neck prickling[4], slowly turn back. Luo Binghe was really standing behind him, his eyes fixed straight at his back. Shen Qingqiu didn’t know how long he’d started standing there. Or, he supposed, when he had begun following Shen Qingqiu.
Luo Binghe smiled: "Master, give me the sword."
Shen Qingqiu, without changing his expression, lifted Xin Mo: "Come here and take it." Luo Binghe stepped toward him, then halted suddenly. His mouth shivered and his shoulders began to shake.
Shen Qingqiu straightened the sword in front of him and asked: "What’s going on?"
Luo Binghe gritted his teeth: "...Leave."
Before Shen Qingqiu had any time to respond, Luo Binghe pressed his hands to his temples, began releasing critical blows and shouted: "Leave! Don’t stop him. Leave!!!"
The words were not directed to him.
The critical blow did not touch him. Instead, it passed away from Shen Qingqiu and smashed into the cave wall, denting it.
Tian Langjun reminded him fondly: "The illusions of Xin Mo sword."
An unnecessary warning, Shen Qingqiu could have probably guessed, From Luo Binghe’s current appearance, he was obviously seeing something that other people couldn’t. His hand was releasing large amounts of spiritual energy, seemingingly besides him, killing nonexistent opponents. The mountain was again wracked with tremors, and large rocks began to fall. Shen Qingqiu glanced at the two injured people behind him and shouted: "Binghe, come over here!"
Luo Binghe looked a bit dazed, but he obeyed and came over all the same.
Winds blew up ahead, and demonic activity behind them remained the same, but the speed of his attacks remained the same. At this time, the system chose to announce: 【"Luo Binghe’s" anger value is 300. After multiplication by Xin Mo’s factor of 10, the current anger value is 3000. 】
System: 【Tip: The upgrade you purchased, the small scenario pusher, deluxe edition, has not been used yet. 】
Shen Qingqiu smashed it. To be honest, he hadn't figured out what the pusher was, or what the principle behind it was. However, based on the one experience he’d had with it, it seemed like it was quite useful!
Shen Qingqiu gritted his teeth: "...come!"
Let me see it all, do your worst[5]!
He had just poked the "OK" when the ground collapsed again.
As he fell, Shen Qingqiu had only one thought: Hey, I definitely pushed the button--are you just bulldozing your way through the plot[6]!
However, after tumbling around for a bit, the shadow of a large stone rolled over him. Strangely enough, he was not crushed underneath.
Someone had covered him.
As disoriented as Luo Binghe’s mind was, he had still instinctively used his body to shield him from the rock.
He pushed the boulder away with his hand and nudged it away with his back. He seemed as though he could feel no pressure. He looked down and Shen Qingqiu looked back at him. There seemed to be a moment when his eyes cleared, and he suddenly blinked. Then everything broke.
The dark red demon mark was spreading along his forehead, across his entire face and spreading along his neck. Xin Mo, which had fallen off to the side, began to glow in unison with the mark on his body. The cave darkened intermittently, and purple light flowed off.
Luo Binghe whispered: "Shizun...?"
Shen Qingqiu mmed.
He saw blood flowing down Luo Binghe’s forehead, and he seemed to be shivering slightly.
Luo Binghe: "Shizun, is that really you?"
"... Mm."
Luo Binghe: "Is it real this time? You didn’t leave with them just now like I saw?"
Shen Qingqiu said: "I won’t leave."
Luo Binghe slowly leaned down and buried his face in Shen Qingqiu’s neck, whispering: "Shizun, it hurts. My head hurts."
The tone of voice he was using seemed to be both that of someone asking to spoiled, and that of someone who seemed to be in genuine pain. Shen Qingqiu slowly placed his arms around Luo Binghe’s shoulder, patted his head gently, and, as one would comfort a child, said: "Be good. It won’t hurt for much longer."
Luo Binghe said: "I’ll be good, and the pain will stop, as long as Shizun doesn’t leave me here by myself"
Shen Qingqiu said: "I won't leave."
Luo Binghe whispered: "I don't believe that."
He suddenly burst into a rage and shouted: "I don't believe that! I don't believe it!"
Seeing him flare up all of a sudden, Shen Qingqiu raised himself up by his shoulder and, leaning forward, raised his head. There was a big problem with this position.
Their teeth knocked together painfully. Luo Binghe’s lips were pressed to his, and his eyes stared blankly. He blinked once, twice.
Shen Qingqiu stared back, and for a while the two of them stared at each other blankly. His heart felt extremely strange.
They had been staring at each other for a while, but neither of them was willing to close their eyes first. He had to move a step back. Finally, Shen Qingqiu closed his eyes and deepened their kiss, eyelashes trembling.
To be honest, this kind of biting, teeth-clacking kiss had made his mouth a bit numb. You couldn't call it a kiss at all.
Luo Binghe didn’t care, obviously, he was as happy as a child eating sugar, biting on Shen Qingqiu's lips, his breath grew faster and faster. Finally he surged forward, pressing Shen Qingqiu back, onto the ground.
【Censored[7]】 【Censored】 【Censored】 【Censored】 【Censored】 【Censored】 【Censored】 【Censored】 【Censored】 【Censored】
I can't take it anymore.
I really can't take it anymore.
Just when he was getting dizzy and his sight was getting darker, a faint white light crossed over.
With a clinking noise, it fell against Shen Qingqiu’s shoulder.
Luo Binghe, very alert, glanced up and saw it.
Then, his eyes widened. The previous moments, previously hazy, slowly returned to him.
He lowered his head slowly and his face drained of color.
Shen Qingqiu was lying underneath him, his clothes torn all around him, his legs, which he couldn’t bring together, were shaking. His eyes were reddened, and his overall appearance made it seem as though he was about to pass on.
Luo Binghe reached out to touch him but stopped halfway, afraid: "... Shi….zun?"
Finally hearing Luo Binghe call him Shizun as usual, Shen Qingqiu seemed to come back to life, inhaling. His breath, choked off, sounded a bit like a sob.
Luo Binghe asked, terrified: "Shizun, I...what have I done?"
Shen Qingqiu wanted to answer reassuringly, ease the atmosphere, and say no harm done, and just did[8] your Shizun, is all. However, his throat, which he hadn’t cleared, ruined that plan and he coughed up a bit of blood.
Both of them were extremely frightened by that blood.
Shen Qingqiu hadn’t even begun crying when Luo Binghe’s tears came down. Tears fell upon Shen Qingqiu's cheek and slid down.
Before, Shen Qingqiu had been most afraid of women crying. Now he was most afraid of Luo Binghe crying. Who cared if his ass hurt a little.
He wiped Luo Binghe’s face and sighed at the childish behavior: "Don’t cry anymore, ah."
Luo Binghe's tears fell down like the beads of a broken bead necklace, rolling down his shoulders, as he held Shen Qingqiu, he whispered: "Shizun, don't hate me... I didn’t know... I didn’t want to hurt you... Why didn’t you push me away, why didn’t you kill me?”
Shen Qingqiu, on his back, smoothed his hand over Luo Binghe’s hair: "Shizun knows. Shizun was willing."
While he did so, though, his heart felt rather desolate.
The person who was having a crisis was him, ok? Why was the one who’d blown up on him crying harder than the victim? Why was the one who’d been fucked comforting the fucker?
Give him a break!
Waiting on Luo Binghe, that maiden snatcher, was even harder than waiting on maidens!
Shen Qingqiu said helplessly: "Then... you leave first..."
Luo Binghe’s tears remained clinging to his eyelashes, never given the chance to fall, until they were fell down carefully.
He looked at the horrible mess between Shen Qingqiu's thighs and his face whitened. Despite this, he carefully laid the clothes on Shen Qingqiu, wrapping his outer robes around him.
Shen Qingqiu didn’t dare look down at himself, slowly closing his legs. He struggled not to grimace all the while, attempting to mask his pained expression.
In an attempt to turn Luo Binghe’s attention away from him, Shen Qingqiu reached out and pulled the jade Guanyin, telling Luo Binghe to look down.
Luo Binghe stammered: "I thought... I thought it’d been lost... I thought I’d never be able to find it again..." Shen Qingqiu helped him tie the red string around his neck and said, "Take it from me today. Don't lose it again."
Luo Bingne, said, slowly: "Back then, Shizun helped me out of that problem. Shizun, since then, have you always... taken it with you?"
It has always been in the system’s inventory, so saying that he had always carried it on him, would have been wrong. As he thought about it, though, Shen Qingqiu had a moment of weakness and nodded.
Luo Binghe’s grip on his hand tightened. Tears slid down between them, and the mark on his arm was disappearing quickly. His fevered forehead and cheeks were cooling rapidly.
He asked, stunned: "What are you doing?"
Shen Qingqiu hugged him tightly, pulling him tightly into the fold of his arms, and stopped him from moving. He said: "Nothing. I told you, it won’t hurt any more soon. Bear with it. Don't make any sudden movements."
Luo Binghe’s voice quieted: "Shizun, are you using your energy to suppress the energy of the Xin Mo sword the way you did last time?"
The "last time" he spoke of was referring to the time when Shen Qingqiu had self destructed. That must have left him with a terrible shadow. Shen Qingqiu said: "No, not like last time."
Luo Binghe’s hands tightened into a fist slowly, trembling: “How is it different? Shizun, why do you do this to me? For others, you’d be willing to do the same thing! Do you think that ... I can watch it happen again? I should have known that you’d never choose me, everyone always eventually abandons me..."
Shen Qingqiu said sternly: "Luo Binghe, listen!"
Luo Binghe obediently began listening tearfully.
Shen Qingqiu said: "Su Xiyan fought to her death to give birth to you. Luo Binghe, Luo Binghe, think about it, why don’t you. You know the sort of man the old palace master was, would he give his apprentice some gentle medicine?"
"That poison must have been fatal to demons. If she’d taken the medicine with full intention of killing you, and you didn’t die, how can you have grown up so safe and cherished up to now?"
Luo Binghe shoulders trembled.
Shen Qingqiu said: "If I was her, no matter how strong the poison is, I would not hesitate to drink it, escape from the water prison, and then drink all the medicine. No matter how painful the journey was. No matter how dangerous, no matter whether the cost was, no matter how dangerous it was, no matter how tiring, even at the cost of my own life, I would never let this child suffer even a hint of damage."
"That’s my judgment. You can think that this is just my opinion, because no one can really tell you anymore what thoughts Su Xiyan held in her heart before her death. But if she really regarded you as a shame, she wouldn’t have needed to do anything else. Counting all the cold weather, ice, and snow, if she’d placed you into in the Luo river, how long could you have lived?"
"Or she wouldn’t have given up the position of Huan Hua Palace’s first disciple with her promising future, and continued to drink the old palace masters medicine; she would never have escaped, and avoided the Huan Hua disciples disciples, and one person would never be born. After that, no one would have taken off their shirt and wrapped it around your body, and used their last efforts to put you in the bucket and set it out... forget waiting for someone else to save you, you have already frozen like a lonely soul in the depths of the Luo river."
"You are alive. You’re here right now. How can you listen to other people's words and believe that your mother really was ruthless, believe she really didn't want you?"
Speaking all of this in one breath, Shen Qingqiu finally deflated, feeling the demonic qi in his body scatter.
He used his remaining strength to tighten his grip on Luo Binghe’s. "Absorbing that demonic energy was not for anyone or anything else. Just for you."
“I... I don't want to see a Luo Binghe that’s going to spend the rest of his life in Xin Mo’s clutches, someone who will eventually disappear."
"This teacher’s hopes for you are you alive, clear minded, and strong."
He whispered: "So, don't ever say that no one wanted you, that no one chose you."
Luo Binghe kneeled beside him. Unable to bear the weight of his tears, he let them fall, crying like a bullied child.
He has always just been a child. Walking alone through the world alone, running away and tripping countless times. The few things he had ever wanted, had slipped out of his grasp. If he had known earlier, Shen Qingqiu thought, he definitely would have... would have...
It could have been said, a long ago that there had never been any "If I had known earlier.." in this world.
Luo Binghe suddenly burst into tearful laughter, one hand pressing Shen Qingqiu's hand on the face, the other picking up Xin Mo.
Purple light surrounded the sword, a high, sharp sound filling the air. The sound of something breaking inch by inch floated by his ear.
"Shizun, I know exactly why you’re saying this."
Luo Binghe stared at him, his mouth tightening.
"But if the only person in the world with this wish for me is gone, what would the point of being, alive, clear minded, and strong be... What would the meaning be?"
Luo Binghe’s heat seemed to have spread to him, Shen Qingqiu’s head felt a bit fogged.
Through this strange haze, he couldn't hear Luo Binghe’s voice clearly, and he couldn't stop him from committing suicide. Distantly, he thought, alright, fine, just like this.
"Dying together" was also "together."
That didn’t seem too bad.
But a clear voice spoke - 【Congratulations, all the values are up to par, and you have upgraded to a junior VIP user. Excuse me, would you like to enable the advanced feature "self-help"? 】
Dante’s TL Notes:
[1] The color here, 青色, is ambiguously blue or green, like SQQ’s robes.
[2] 理会 can mean pay attention or understand/comprehend
[3] 道是无情却有情呢 Basically “without feelings, yet with feelings.”
[4] 毛骨悚然 Literally, in the sentence, under a creepy mood
[5] 霸气酸爽，放马过来！A direct translation would be incomprehensible, it’s slang for “come at me with all you’ve got” I believe.
[6] 推土机 Literally Bulldozer.
[7] 和谐 is the name for the internet censorship bill passed in China, and what the paragraph was referring to. It’s literal meaning is harmony or peace, but it's a stand in for "censored". Thanks Bob for clarifying!
[8] 干了can mean “fuck/fucked” in slang
https://t.co/h14T90e4Hc << here's the explicit scene, kept getting questions about it