Curse
Shaa-shaa.
Outside of the Fallen Blossom Court, the low-ranking monks swept the fallen paulownia tree leaves from the white jade steps.
Suddenly, a pair of black leather boots stepped into his sight, and the monk’s movements stopped. His eyes curved into a smile, he raised his head to excuse himself, “Patron, the sky is not yet dark. Our court only opens at chenshi, would patrons like to wait until later- “
Before he could finish speaking, when he (finally?) saw the visitor’s visage clearly his eyes widened, and even his broom clattered to the ground.
The monk, stunned and tongue tied. “Xi- Xihe-jun?!??”
Mo Xi’s military uniform was starched and smart, the collars overlapped heavily over each other, the yuanling (decorative ribbon? Embroidered bias tape idk) had not a single stitch out of place; an appearance of a gentleman with impeccably proper bearing.
“I’m looking for a person.”
“??!” The monk’s jaw nearly hit the ground in shock.
This place is the Fallen Blossom Court, and Xihe-jun is someone everyone knows is pure of mind and without desires. Someone like him somehow took the initiative to come to a brothel to find somebody? Is the sun rising from the west?!!
Mo Xi’s expression was glacial, his gaze becoming more and more discomforted : “What are you looking at. I cannot enter?”
“No no no.” The small monk hurriedly led him in, “Please enter, please enter.” And stuttered, “who are you looking for?”
Mo Xi stood in silence for a while. Turning his head to the side without any expression on his face, he answered, “Gu Mang.”
“Oh! Turns out you’re looking for him…..” The monk reacted, letting out a sharp sigh of relief.
Although Xihe-jun visiting a brothel is beyond absurd, Xihe-jun seeking out Gu Mang is within reason. The enmity between them is so deep, if Xihe-jun is in a bad mood and came here to vent a little, that’s still exceedingly natural.
Mo Xi entered the Fallen Blossom Court smoothly alongside the small monk, whom warned him as they walked, “Xihe-jun, Gu Mang is in an extremely dirty shed in the back yard. When you enter please take care to not dirty your clothing.
Mo Xi furrowed his brows, “Why would he be there?”
“Eh, this is a long story. Didn’t Wangshu-jun punish him before? Thus we let Gu Mang do some rough work in this courtyard, cutting firewood and whatnot. However, a few days ago he probably got too hungry, and actually went to the kitchen in the middle of the night to steal some meat buns to eat.”
“Then what.”
“Originally, if he only stole one or two there’s no problem, no one would notice, but he had to eat like a starved ghost, and ate four whole steamer basketfuls in one go. When the chef went to check, he was still clutching some buns and still gnawing on them. Of course, the cook wasn’t happy, and charged forward to settle scores with him. The result…”
Mo Xi glanced at the fearful expression he suddenly wore, “did the cook raise a hand at him and triggered the sword array?”
“Ah! Yes, has Xihe-jun also seen this sword array?”
Mo Xi did not answer, and in fact a blurry (faint?) light passed through his eyes. His eyelashes fluttered and fell to cover his eyes.
“The cook went overboard in his beating, Gu Mang was put up a strong resistance. After the sword array activated, because he didn’t dodge in time, he was cut until he was covered in blood.” The monk rubbed goosebumps on the back of his hand, “Aiyo, there were hundreds of wounds; it was pretty frightening.”
Mo Xi was silent for a moment, then asked, “The person’s alright?”
“They’re alright, they’re alright. The sword array wasn’t too potent, though there were many cuts, they are mere flesh wounds.”, he paused a little, “Actually, there’s no reason for Xihe-jun to worry, that cook is also a lowly criminal caught by Liao Country. For him and Gu Mang to fight, is merely dogs biting dogs.”
“……”
“After this incident, the madame was infuriated and locked Gu Mang into the firewood shed. At first we gave him a wotou (..bun?) every day, but Madame said that we should be harsher, and give him only a bowl of thin congee every day to let him get a taste of true suffering. “ The monk paused, “Xihe-jun, how about I get someone to lug him here for you? His array is too dangerous. The injured cook is still lying in his room, wrapped up like a zongzi. It’s estimated that he wouldn’t be able to leave his bed for another month or two.”
No need,” Mo Xi had an indiscernible expression, paused for a time, and said, “I will seek him out.”
Because there was no need for him to receive customers, Gu Mang stayed in the most desolate shack in Fallen Blossom court.
It’s said “it’s difficult to live as a lone wolf”. To a large degree Gu Mang’s body has been refined to become like a wild wolf. He fears lonesomeness and often spoke to himself, which flustered the people of Fallen Blossom Court to the point of just giving him a black dog for companionship.
That black dog is currently sitting in front of the door of that small shack; seeing a stranger approaching, it began to bark madly. Mo Xi’s knife-like gaze took a single look at the dog, whom froze and immediately shrunk back.
“Xihe-jun, this dog is afraid of you.”
……No shit. He’s killed so many people, how would it be possible he cannot deal with a mere dog. Mo Xi’s black military boots stepped over several stone steps, then with one hand pushed open a heavy portiere, his eyes sweeping across the dim room.
Different from the lavish arrangements of the other courtyards, this tiny room was free of any adornments but for a pile of firewood and a couple broken jugs. Gu Mang lived like a beast, curled up into a ball in a darkened corner. Hearing someone approaching, his ears twitched and looked up silently.
The monk that accompanied him frantically reminded: “Xihe-jun, please be careful, right now he’s hostile towards everyone, the possibility he’ll retaliate is high.”
Mo Xi seemed to pay it little regard, only nodding lightly, “You may leave.”
The little monk hesitated; although Wangshu-jun always says that it’s alright if Gu Mang dies, but who doesn’t know that Wangshu-jun is just saying that. If Gu Mang really died, then none of them would be able to bear the consequences.
General Mo hates Gu Mang this much, he wouldn’t wait for a stormy moonless night to rend him into pieces right….
Mo Xi said, “I want to be alone with him for a while.”
The monk saw that his eyes were sullen, and didn’t dare to say anything more. He could only lower his head and say, “Yes.”
After the monk retreated, Mo Xi unfurled his hand holding the portiere, the heavy and filthy curtain fell behind him and cast the entire room into darkness without even a candle in the room.
In the darkness, only Gu Mang’s pair of clear eyes glittered.
Mo Xi frowned, suddenly feeling something was wrong.
What’s happening with his eyes?
He raised his hand and an orb of flame appeared in the palm of his hand. Mo Xi kept the flame alight, and approached the two flecks of light.
Gu Mang has been imprisoned for five days, and his mind was somewhat hazy, in addition, it’s been too long since he’d last seen such blinding light. From his throat a deep threatening sound emerged, but upon discovering the person had no intention of stopping his steps, he reacted like a wounded animal and scrambled to escape. His limbs too weak from imprisonment , he didn’t even get past a couple steps before he staggered and fell to the ground.
Mo Xi stayed still before him. The firelight finally fell upon the abused form of Gu Mang. Seeing there was no hope of escape, Gu Mang decided to turn his head to look at him-
Sure enough, something was wrong.
Their past two meetings were lit by indistinct candlelight and marred by fluctuating emotions; Mo Xi was unable to get a good look at Gu Mang’s face. It wasn’t until now that he discovered that Gu Mang’s eyes were different than before.
The black smiling eyes that resided in his memories disappeared. In their place was a pair of azure pupils, glittering crystals scattered amongst darkness.
These are a pair of genuine article snow wolf eyes.
Though Mo Xi knew Liao Country performed a series of refinements of Gu Mang’s body with beasts, but to personally see a wolf’s characteristics replace the features he was familiar with; Mo Xi’s hands still shook.
He roughly grabbed Gu Mang’s chin, ardently staring into his sea-blue eyes.
Who?
Who is this?!!
The flame in his other hand flared in response to its owner’s anger, shining nearly white, lighting up Gu Mang’s face. His gaze sharp as a bayonet carved a path down his body.
Perhaps his stare burned too strongly, piercing down to the bone. Who knows where Gu Mang gathered the strength from, as he suddenly flung aside Mo Xi’s hand, struggling to move forward a few steps.
Mo Xi roared at him, “You stay where you are!”
The ball of fire suspended in midair, his one hand gripping tightly onto Gu Mang’s wrist.
His movement was too forceful and Gu Mang truly received too much stimulus this time. Only a few dazzling flashes of blue light could be seen as the sword array triggered again, tens of formless blades of light burst from Gu Mang’s body, simultaneously, all the blades turned to align themselves and pierced towards Mo Xi, seemingly about to send splatters of blood in every direction!!
But in this perilous moment, something strange occured.
When the sword-lights touched Mo Xi, they transformed into crystalline wings, flowly floating towards the ground.
Gu Mang froze on the spot, yet Mo Xi already knew that the sword array would be ineffective against himself. Exerting some strength on Gu Mang’s arm, he pulled the shocked person out of his reverie.
“......” Gu Mang was stunned for another few moments. The realization that he was encased in a firm embrace crashed into him, and he frantically began to struggle, flinging about his arms and kicking his legs.
Mo Xi angrily intoned, “Stop moving!”
Hearing the voice mere inches away from him. Gu Mang straightened his head, and his panic redoubled, his mind blank. Of course he knew that the sword array was his last line of defense; if the sword array fails, it’s as if the lone wolf has lost the last of its fangs and can only wait to be slaughtered- he has no ability to resist before this infuriated man.
“Dont…..” he finally opened his mouth, shaking lightly.
Mo Xi inhaled, bowing his head to look at the man in his arms. Through gritted teeth he asked, “Don’t what?”
“Don’t….” He’d already lost his ability to speak before, now that he’s suffered a shock, his words getting lost in his throat, “kill me…..”
Mo Xi: “......”
That pair of azure eyes flashed with the sorrowful lustre of beasts, so arduously. so clumsily pleading, “I…”
His lips slowly closed, then opened, “I… want to live…”
His heart trembled wildly.
As Mo Xi met those eyes that carried the look of someone who has been cornered with no way out, the scar on his chest again began to pulsate violently with pain.
“I want to live! As long as I can live with a peace of mind, what is wrong with that! Mo Xi do you understand me? Ah? I can’t live like this! I have no peace! In my dreams, all I can see are the faces of the dead! When I’m conscious I absolutely can’t live anymore! Do you know the suffering of wanting to die every day!? You know nothing!!!”
Before Gu Mang truly fell, there was once when he lost his senses and madly bellowed at him, his eyes unseeing, shattering a cup, and blood flowing freely.
Mo Xi understood his pain.
But what was there to be done…. In that moment, he could only stay by the drunk Gu Mang who yelled, screamed, and howled, waiting for him to slowly recover, for the scars to slowly recover.
After Gu Mang woke from his drunken stupor, he didn’t make a fuss; but he didn’t know why, Mo Xi felt that though he continued to smile, there was something hidden within his smile, something he was unable to discern.
Then, Mo Xi was deployed by the emperor out of the imperial capital, inviting Gu Mang to drink before he left. Laughingly, he said he was going to go out to be a villain. He didn’t believe it at the time.
But when he returned, Gu Mang had already fallen, drunk within the dreams of Qinglou, and had changed beyond recognition.
Not long after, Gu Mang turned treasonous.
His scars have never healed; upon his heart new wounds are added one after another, new wounds stacked upon old ones.
He wants to live. Yet every day and night he wants to die.
Day after day just like this, never able to recover.
The blue eyed Gu Mang quietly, mournfully, with an animals instinct to survive, “I want to live…”
“....” Mo Xi shut his eyes, “I won’t do anything to you.”
The person in his embrace continued trembling.
He’s been starved, starved until his cheekbones seemed sunken, the slightly long black forelocks draped down the side of his face.
He continued to stare at Mo Xi’s face, and Mo Xi also returned his stare. Only after their staring went on for a long time, did Gu Mang’s trembling recede slightly.
But when Mo Xi moved his arm, Gu Mang immediately widened his eyes, his pupils moving left and right in discomfort, seeminging trying to escape, yet seemingly knowing that escape was futile.
“...it’s me.”
“....”
Clearly before he was that disappointed, that hateful, that entangled, that unsettled in his heart.
But when the sight of Gu Mang panicking while at a loss was before him, the waves of turmoil within his heart was calmed like the eye of a storm.
“Do you still remember me?”
He paused, not knowing how to continue, he added, “..... if you don’t remember, forget it.
”.........................”
“Listen,” his heart suddenly was set ablaze, and Mo Xi was nearly gnashing his teeth, “in the future, never say this word in my presence. That day I came to find you to discuss something with you. Not… not…” the word ‘prostitution’ could not leave his mouth. Mo Xi turned his head away, his face dark, and in the end settled on saying, “Remember that it was to have a discussion.”
“To talk….” Gu mang murmured, finally relaxing a little,. Only, his eyes are still capturing Mo Xi’s every emotion that flutters past his face.
Finally, he slowly asked, “..... but, why?”
“What why?”
“Why is my….” Gu Mang’s emotions have yet to recover, he’s still unable to speak as calm and smooth as the night they reunited. He’s really been frightened by starvation, frightened by abuse, and can only spit out words one by one. “My sword… disappeared. I attack you, cannot reach?”
Mo xi didn’t answer immediately, but his expression slowly darkened and became icy.
“Why?”
“......”
Why ?
On the day of Murong Lian’s banquet, there was someone lamenting, although Gu Mang’s sword array was fantastic, there was no one in the world who knows the secret hidden within.
But he was incorrect.
That person was the silent Mo Xi.
Mo Xi stared at Gu Mang’s face, a hand remained trapping Gu Mang, stopping him from moving anywhere, on the other hand released his chin, slowly sliding down his neck.
Finally, the coarse fingertips stop on the lotus sword array seal.
Mo Xi quietly towered down on him, gently caressing his neck, eyes slightly red, like he’s going to lean over the next moment and take a bite out of the Lotus seal. To bite him hard enough that it breaks his flesh and veins, to let him die while cradled in his lap. As if he does this, this person will never deceive him, will never betray him, will never teach him disappointment.
Only then will he be well-behaved.
Probably due to his eyes being too paranoid and his suppressed emotions being too wild, Gu Mang felt that something was wrong. His gaze drifted away, his lips also trembled slightly, seemingly mumbling under his breath.
Mo Xi finally slowly yet solemnly opened his mouth.
”Don’t read it anymore.”
”....!”
”No matter how you call, it won’t be effective.”
Gu Mang was startled: “You… knew?”
”I know.” Mo Xi’s vision shifted his gaze from the lotus. Slowly, deeply, buried himself into Gu Mang’s serene blue eyes.
”Beside this sword array’s own trigger, if you really want it to appear, if you make a sincere request. it will be summoned..
Gu Mang’s face instantly became even more pale, and he widened his eyes.
Mo Xi’s expression was very complicated, like his profound hatred has become deeply entangled, inescapable. He wasn’t sure himself where it came from.
”But if I don’t allow it to, it won’t appear.” Mo Xi paused, the hue of his eyes deepened, his pale lips opened and closed, slowly recounting,
”Because not only does it listen to you, it also listens to me.”
”It’s master is not only you.”
Every word that Mo Xi uttered, Gu Mang’s face become a little whiter. At the end, his face was like a thin piece of paper, staring blankly at Mo Xi’s face that was nearly close enough to touch.
”W...Why…”
Mo Xi lowered his head to look at him, his breath heavy. Although he was unwilling to expose his emotions, the pain his eyes can never be concealed. His eyelashes quivered, and his throat shifted.
”Gu Mang.” He hesitated, closing his eyes, “you really forgot everything.”
Gu Mang’s eyes widened, the eyes as clear blue as the ocean reflected Mo Xi’s genteel face.
”You…. It can’t resist… you.” he murmured. His face displayed an animal-like alertness, “it.. Why does it listen to you?”
Mo Xi’s expression was indistinguishable to be cold or anguished, his lips closed. Each word chilling, “of course it listens to me.”
“……”
Quiet.
Mo Xi closed his eyes.
And then, like repressed lava seeping from cracked earth, his eyes opened and his pupils blazed scarlet.
He suddenly couldn’t contain his anger: “of course it listens to me -- because your seal used my blood, because your imprint was my doing, because… because the creator of this array isn’t you at all, it was me!”
Gu Mang clearly did not understand.
But he understood this face full of anger and sadness. His eyes wide, staring dumbfoundedly at this unfamiliar man.
The man’s demeanor was too complex, just like decades-worth of sedimented emotions, decades of oppressed suffering, and ultimately bursting with decades of despair.
He abruptly raised his hand, almost violently tearing at his rigid overlapping collar and exposing the side of his neck. Mo Xi’s eyes were frigid, immersed in fire and ice. He clenched his teeth.
“Did you see?” His pupils were constricted but moist, “This seal is exactly the same as yours. ...Your blood! Your doing!”
”I set it for you….”
As he spoke, he abruptly gave a push to Gu Mang, as if he suddenly didn’t want to be in contact with him anymore, as if doesn’t want to spare him any more thought.
Mo Xi raised his hand, covering his forehead.
He choked on his last syllable.
Dante Notes: Whoops, technically a four chapter update.